From a surfer:

Good Morning, Per my divorce decree I have to try mediation before taking my ex back to court but I can’t afford to bring an attorney with us. Is there any way of coming without one, or do you have any other suggestions? My ex will not communicate with me in any way shape or form. It concerns my 14 year old son’s court ordered visitation. He is refusing to go because it is causing medical problems and loss of sleep, which in turn effects his school work. I feel like I am at a dead end now.

Thanks, anonymous

Kris Donley:

The short answer to your question is, “no, you don’t have to bring your attorney to this mediation”. Many times, individuals just want to sit down with a neutral third party and try to figure out what they want to in order to be the best co-parents after a divorce. Even when emotions are tense, parties appear split beyond redemption and/or no solution is visible, parents can still find ways to creatively address the issues that prevent them from parenting as well or cooperatively as they want to. However, whatever agreements might be reached between you and your ex will be an informal understanding unless a court issues an order to modify your current decree. In other words, if it’s working informally between you and your ex, it may be fine (as long as the child is not being harmed in any way). But if it isn’t working, there’s no authority such as the judge who can mandate anything other than the existing decree. If this “legal teeth” is desired, your attorney’s review of the agreement is a good idea before taking it before a judge.

Kris